Stand-up helps Stoke-on-Trent woman connect over hair-pulling

A Stoke-on-Trent woman named Jo has helped bring a hidden condition into the light by talking about it on stage. According to a BBC report, Jo has lived with compulsive hair pulling since childhood and once used jokes to broach the subject in her stand-up routine. Those candid moments opened unexpected doors: audience members living with the same disorder reached out, and a quiet community began to form. Her story underscores a growing awareness of trichotillomania in the UK—how it starts, why it’s misunderstood, and the power of shared experience in finding support.

What is trichotillomania and how does it show up?

Trichotillomania is a recognised mental health condition—often called a body-focused repetitive behaviour (BFRB)—where a person feels a strong, sometimes overwhelming urge to pull out their hair. It can involve the scalp, brows, lashes, facial hair, and elsewhere. For many, it begins in childhood or adolescence and can wax and wane over time. While some people are very aware of pulling as it happens, others describe it as an almost automatic behaviour, especially during periods of stress, boredom, or intense concentration.

The impact is more than cosmetic. People can experience shame, anxiety, low mood, and social withdrawal. Many adopt strategies to conceal hair loss—hats, hairstyles, cosmetic techniques, or avoiding certain social settings—because of the fear of being judged. Misconceptions are rife: the behaviour is not a sign of poor willpower, vanity, or a “bad habit” that can be simply stopped. It is a complex, clinically acknowledged condition, and it deserves the same compassion and evidence-based care as any other mental health concern.

Jo’s experience—beginning around age 11 and later addressed through comedy—reflects a reality many recognise. When the condition is spoken about openly, others living with it can finally see themselves represented. That recognition alone can be a turning point.

Finding solidarity through comedy and storytelling

Stand-up is an art form that thrives on truth-telling. By folding her lived experience into a routine, Jo found an unexpected bridge to others. After shows, conversations often continue offstage—audience members swap experiences, compare strategies, and, crucially, realise they’re not alone. For an issue that thrives in silence, that shift is powerful.

Creative spaces—comedy, spoken word, theatre, online storytelling—can offer a uniquely safe way to discuss difficult topics. They make room for nuance and humour, and they help dismantle stigma. When someone hears their own secret feelings reflected back at them—from a stage or a screen—it can reduce isolation. It also encourages loved ones, employers, teachers, and clinicians to build more understanding environments.

• Visibility changes the narrative. Hearing about trichotillomania publicly reframes it as a legitimate condition, not a personal failing.
• Community reduces shame. People often report relief when they meet others who “get it” without explanation.
• Shared strategies can help. From sensory substitutions to structured therapies, tips circulate more freely in open conversations.
• Humour can heal. For some, humour provides emotional distance and a gentler lens through which to process difficult experiences.

Getting help in the UK: therapies, tools and support

Awareness is one step; support is the next. In the UK, help typically starts with a GP, who can discuss options and make referrals. Psychological therapies are central, and many people benefit from approaches used for BFRBs.

Common, evidence-based components include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Helps people recognise patterns of thoughts and behaviours linked to urges and develop healthier responses.
• Habit Reversal Training (HRT): A structured technique teaching awareness of triggers and a competing response (for example, clenching fists or using a sensory object) when the urge arises.
• Stimulus control: Simple environmental tweaks—like keeping hair covered at known trigger times, or placing mirrors out of view—reduce opportunity and visual cues.
• Stress reduction and self-care: Sleep, movement, and calming practices can lower baseline tension, which may lessen frequency or intensity of urges for some.

NHS Talking Therapies services (accessed via GP referral or self-referral in many areas) can advise on what’s available locally. Some people also find peer groups—online communities or in-person meet-ups—transformative for sharing lived experiences, coping tools, and encouragement between therapy sessions. Charities and reputable health organisations offer information guides so individuals and families can understand the condition without stigma.

It’s equally valid to use appearance-based support while working on the behaviour itself. People may choose hairstyles that minimise visibility of thinning, experiment with makeup to reshape brows, or use headwear. None of these choices invalidate the work someone is doing to manage urges; they are simply personal ways to feel more comfortable day to day.

Reducing stigma: how to talk about hair pulling with care

Language matters. People living with trichotillomania often field questions or comments that, although well-meant, can land as dismissive. An informed, supportive response from friends, family, and colleagues can lift some of the weight.

• Lead with empathy: “Thanks for telling me” goes further than advice.
• Avoid quick fixes: If stopping were simple, it would be done. Focus on support, not solutions.
• Respect boundaries: Not everyone wants to talk about it all the time. Follow the other person’s cues.
• Be practical: Offer help with appointments, research, or simply company on a tough day.
• Champion privacy: Don’t disclose someone’s condition without their consent.

For workplaces and schools, small accommodations—like flexible seating, permission to use discreet sensory tools, or understanding around headwear—can significantly reduce anxiety. Ultimately, learning about the condition and treating it as part of a person’s health profile, not a curiosity, is the most respectful approach.

If you think you might have trichotillomania

Jo’s story is a reminder that early acknowledgement can be a relief. If the description resonates, consider the following first steps:

• Speak to your GP: Describe your experience, how long it’s been happening, and how it affects your life.
• Track patterns: A simple note on when urges strike (time, place, feelings) can help identify triggers—and guide therapy.
• Explore therapy options: Ask about CBT and habit reversal training through NHS Talking Therapies or local mental health services.
• Build a support network: A trusted friend, family member, or peer group can offer accountability and understanding.
• Use compassionate self-care: Aim for progress, not perfection. Relapses are common; they don’t erase the work you’ve done.

Above all, there is nothing “embarrassing” about seeking help. The more we share stories—on stage, online, in private conversations—the less room there is for shame. Jo’s experience shows how openness can create community, and community can nudge doors towards treatment and recovery.

Key Takeaways

• Trichotillomania is a recognised mental health condition involving recurrent hair pulling; it’s not a sign of personal weakness.
• Jo, a Stoke-on-Trent stand-up, used comedy to talk about her experience and connected with others who share the condition.
• Therapies such as CBT and habit reversal training are commonly used approaches; speak to a GP about local options.
• Community and storytelling reduce isolation, challenge stigma, and help people access support sooner.
• Compassionate language and practical support from loved ones, schools, and workplaces make a real difference.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is trichotillomania common?
It’s more common than many realise, but it’s underreported due to stigma and concealment. People of all ages and genders can experience it, often starting in childhood or adolescence.

What causes the urge to pull?
There isn’t a single cause. Factors can include stress, anxiety, boredom, and learned behavioural loops. For some, urges feel automatic; for others, they’re more deliberate. Evidence-based therapies aim to break the cycle regardless of trigger.

How is trichotillomania treated?
Psychological therapies—especially CBT with habit reversal training—are commonly used. Treatment plans are tailored to the individual and may include stress management, stimulus control, and supportive peer or family involvement.

Will my hair grow back?
Hair frequently regrows when pulling reduces, though patterns vary by individual and by area. A GP or dermatologist can advise on scalp or skin care if there’s soreness, breakage, or patchiness.

Is shaving the head a solution?
Some people try shaving or very short hair as a temporary barrier to pulling. For others, it isn’t helpful. It’s a personal choice and not a substitute for therapeutic support.

Do wigs or headwear help?
Headwear can provide comfort, privacy, or reduce access at certain times. Wigs and hair accessories are individual style choices; they don’t treat the behaviour but can support confidence while pursuing therapy.

Where can I find support?
Start with your GP and NHS Talking Therapies in your area. Reputable UK health organisations and peer communities (online or local) can offer information and lived-experience support.